The Bromley Saga - Part Two of Two

[sigune]

Previously on the Bromley Saga, I disclosed the origins of my OFC Brynhild Bromley and uncovered her previous existence as a Mary Sue. By the end of my exposé, I had her appearance fixed, but she had yet to take her first steps into the world of prose.



Why did it take her so long to get there? The answer is very simply that I was afraid of how she might behave in writing. I was in the thralls of Original Character Anxiety, something I had never experienced with any of my other ‘concoctions’. Even after Bromelia was made over into Brynhild, I didn’t trust myself with her. And, to be quite frank, I wasn’t sure I had a story to tell in which I could justify her presence.

But the thing is that Brynhild wouldn’t go away - to use a hackneyed phrase that has been called upon to justify all, from silly characters to idiotic plot bunnies. She languished in my head until I knew all sorts of things about her: that her father was an ex-Quidditch player now into broomstick manufacturing; that she spent her childhood in Yorkshire and now lived in London; what her eating habits were and that she couldn’t cook; how she dressed; what shoes she wore; which books she read; what pets she kept; what she watched on television; how the inside of her house looked. I even knew perfectly well how she felt about Snape and what their friendship was like. I imagined she was there in the background, and that rather than staying for dinner at Grimmauld Place during the action in Order of the Phoenix, it was at her house that Snape had his meals. (He had to do the cooking himself, of course, except when they had fish and chips or went out.) I suppose I would have alluded to these things if they had somehow come up in my genfic stories, but they never did.

I did draw Brynhild and Snape together, occasionally; but I never finished those sketches into inked drawings because they always turned out fluffy. For some reason, Snape would always insist on smiling, and how unnatural is that?



(There is plenty wrong with this, but I like Brynhild’s half-moon profile.)


(FAR too sweet, but I have a soft spot for it.)


(I must have given this one five tries or something, and I never produced anything I could be happy with.)

My greatest fear was that anything I might write with those two in it would be as fluffy as these discarded sketches, which wasn’t the idea at all. To this day, Snape and Brynhild are not in love. They mustn’t seem so. Whenever they appeared together, I wanted it to be warm and cold at the same time.

However – in January 2005, my friend Potioncat, who was then writing her Son of Slytherin, told me she was toying with the idea of giving Snape a lady friend but very nervous about writing it all out. I confessed to her (she was the very first ever to hear this) the existence of my own OFC who had as yet never come out to play. We started an e-mail discussion about the possibility of Snape being married or having a serious relationship, compared scenarios and decided the idea wasn’t actually that far-fetched, provided that canon characterisation was respected and Snape didn’t turn into someone nice, romantic, attentive or an especially competent lover. By the end of our exchange, Potioncat proposed a challenge: we’d both of us put aside our nervousness, write our Snape-cum-OFC stories, and see what happened.

Two days later, mine was ready. It was The Good-Morrow.

Writing the story was amazingly easy; but maybe that was not so surprising given the fact that Miss OFC (as I persisted in calling her in my mails to Potioncat) had been ready for action for some time. I wrote the story in half a day, and the next day I did revisions; then I sent it to todayiamadaisy to be beta-read.

I was very embarrassed about The Good-Morrow. Occasionally I still am. It’s not that I think the story is inferior in quality; it’s just the idea that I should have written a tale in which Snape ends up in bed with someone, and that’s all there is. On the face of it, it’s the kind of story I’m really not interested in, and I felt guilty about writing it, as if I’d betrayed my principles. Still, I didn’t make concessions to anyone; the writing went smoothly and naturally and I’m really quite happy with how it turned out – I think I managed to dodge the majority of Snape ship pitfalls, and I hope you who have read it will agree that the woman has nothing Sue-ish about her. But then I went to great lengths to ensure that she hadn’t. Basically what I did was:

-I made her anonymous. It’s Brynhild, to be sure, but I took care not to mention her name.
-I was as vague as possible about the circumstances of her life and about the specific development of the relationship.
-I opted for a scene, a close-up, and dealt with atmosphere rather than storytelling.
-I stuck to Snape’s perspective.
-I decided against dialogue.

In the end, I had a very strange thing on my hands. For one, it is among my stories the one that is least connected to canon and could, as Potioncat suggested, with a few small changes be turned into a piece of completely original fiction. (I might just do that.) Second, because it has an OFC ship in it, it may have cost me some of the credit I used to have as a genfic writer, a fact I regret very much. Third: despite it being a shipping story, it has very limited appeal. It’s not about sex. It’s not about seduction. It’s not about a popular pairing. It’s not about anything that has a niche in fandom. In fact, I don’t really know what it is. But it was Brynhild who prompted it.

When Sycophant Hex’s Spring Faire Festival was announced a few months later, one of the challenges asked for a story in which Snape steals Sirius Black’s girl while Sirius is in Azkaban, and Black confronts one or both of the guilty lovers when he comes out. It was specifically stated that the woman must be their age and time-turners weren’t allowed. Frankly, I did think the basic plot – the idea that Snape and Sirius would fight over a woman – rather ridiculous and inviting badfic of the worst kind. But unfortunately it turned out to be the only challenge I could think about and had ideas for (why is it always like that?!). It called for an OFC, and I had one at the ready. Besides, there was distinct potential in a confrontation between Snape and Sirius, though it would be tricky, on account of that idiotic love triangle, to get it right and not fall into the melodramatic mode. Challenge indeed.

This time I was forced to go into specifics about Brynhild, detail her back-story and her relationship with Snape. It took me a very long time to find a mode in which to do that acceptably and in a short story, and in the end it only worked when I wrote a first-person narrative from Snape’s point of view, something I had always very consciously avoided. The result was As She Likes It.

A small army of betas had their say and offered corrections before I believed I wouldn’t be sent screaming into hell if I posted it, but I was (and still am) even more embarrassed about As She Likes It than I used to be about The Good-Morrow. It’s my first (and I dare hope only) R-rated fic. R-rated fics are just not my style. The problem was that this story went that way and could not be denied – it’s all the fault of that first-person perspective and Snape being horribly vituperative and thinking he has to prove himself (she said, as if it wasn’t her behind the keyboard) :-(. Blushing, I appealed to _vocalion_, who assured me that my two small paragraphs didn’t squeal, “Look at us! We’re gratuitous smut!”
(They were the hardest part to write. I always want too much: the descriptions had to be at once slightly ridiculous, very serious on Snape’s part, rather unrealistic, euphemistic, and tolerable to read. I have no idea at all whether it worked.)

There are two things in this story with which I am truly content, and these are Snape’s rant against Sirius, and the Brynhild part of it all. I developed her further while writing this. Once blurred contours became sharper; the Slytherin side of her character came out more clearly; and I corrected some inconsistencies in my earlier ideas. She changed occupations. Until ASLI, I had envisioned her as a detective, a remnant from Bromelia; but now I decided it would be more like her to be a lawyer instead. That is what I had in mind while writing, though her job isn’t explicitly named. Another inheritance from Bromelia gained importance here and had to be further explored: Brynhild’s exile from the wizarding world. I figured out the exact why and wherefore during ASLI, but decided not to add the information – I’m keeping it for Art of Darkness and didn’t want to spoil it, though you may argue it’s a plot hole in ASLI.

Until then, I had made sure that if anyone confronted me about writing an OFC and shipping Snape with her, I could sort of hide behind the excuse that it was part of a challenge – a personal one in the first case, and a public one in the second. I still feel as if I have to apologise for her existence. However, the third story featuring Brynhild is one in which she is the main character and focaliser. Perhaps you can say that she has finally come into her own in it. Monkey Business is not my best, I think; but it’s my first humorous story (which was another challenge I set myself) and I feel that Brynhild’s personality is in fact one of the best things about the tale (not counting Dumbledore, who seems to steal the show wherever he appears). I’m not sure if I can say such a thing about my own writing, but it seems as if she possesses a kind of restraint that helps me to keep almost any kind of plot in check – a detachment that makes things palatable and acceptable for me. This is probably a very muddled way of saying that I like writing her :-).


(I hope one day to turn this quick sketch into a decent drawing – fix the sofa, fix the cat, etc. :-). I rather like this as a depiction of Snape and Brynhild’s idea of a relationship.)

The question remains whether readers like reading Brynhild. Opinions appear to differ greatly. At FictionAlley and Sugar Quill she makes for an all-time low of reads and reviews. At Mugglenet and Occlumency she has enjoyed (in my terms, to be sure) some success and brought me a few extra readers.

Now that I have Brynhild pegged and am fairly confident in her capacities, I have pulled her through a rather detailed Mary Sue Litmus Test, just for fun. It told me Brynhild is a borderline Sue, on account of, among a few other things that I have forgotten, these facts:

-She has several pets (penalty points because one of them is a snake);
-She has a relationship of sorts with a canon character (penalty points because it’s Snape);
-Her father is filthy rich;
-She is obsessed with Quidditch and possesses a state-of-the-art broomstick;
-Her mother is not British (but German);
-She has a non-human among her ancestors (the hag grandmother);
-She speaks a language other than English (namely German).

Especially the last point seems a grave sin indeed. An extra language – what could I have been thinking? ;-P

Here endeth the Bromley Saga – until further notice. Brynhild’s next appearance is scheduled for Art of Darkness, in which she will for once be extremely functional to the plot :-).

Comments

[jen-deben.livejournal.com]

I love that last drawing! There's a wonderfully quiet humour to the combination of the boots and the garters, and of course it's always nice to see a woman who's not a nineteen-year-old fashion model being unabashedly sexy.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

I love your drawings of Brynhild. I also like the fact, you have kept the Snape/Brynhild relationship on a platonic level.

Snape never struck me as a sexual being. That is way I am always puzzled by the ship stories surrounding him. He is overly fascinated with Magic. I always imagined that all his energy including his sex impulse was put into magic. Leaving him rather asexual.

But being fascinated by talent and intelligence, I can see Snape doing. I can also see this causing problems because the object of his "obsession" would eventually want to move to a physical relationship. Something he cannot do.

I can see that your character has come to terms with this aspect of Snape.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

OFCs, in my opinion, cannot always be evaluated by MS Litmus Tests. Often characters that should, by definition, be Mary Sues, are not, and vice versa. A good writer can take the most clichéd plot and the most outwardly Mary Sue character and make something intriguing and beautiful out of it.

An interesting entry! I *love* the last drawing. It's awesome.

[aerynstales.livejournal.com]

I really like your drawings of your OFC, and again the way you detail her evolution and emergence into your writing. She really does sound utterly unique, and looks it too! It is also great to see someone invent an ofc that is friend of Snape and not just instant lover. Though I have to say that I'm rather guilty of the presto instant lover manuver with him. *snicker*

Again, a very interesting essay...you've now made me want to detail the evolution of my Holmes OFC...I think that took about as long in creating as yours. :D

[veradee.livejournal.com]

I love your explanation on how you created Brynhild's character. To be honest, to my German ears the name sounds very unpleasant. But from your pictures and the way how you describe her, I've become really intrigued so that I had to check out "The Good-Morrow" and "As she likes it". I liked both stories very much. You have an outstanding way with words. It's impossible not to be drawn in by Snape. And the stories made me even more curious about Brynhild so that I'll have to read "Monkey Buisness" tomorrow.

I also look forward to reading your next lesson on how to draw comics.

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should! It's fun to do - basically, it's "researching" your own character, and the nice thing is that sometimes you come across elements you had totally forgotten about :-D. They're not always things to be proud of, but... Personally I'd love to read your 'behind the scenes' - I'm curious about people's writing habits. And I used to read a lot of Holmes, so maybe I ought to give Holmes fanfic a try too.

It is also great to see someone invent an ofc that is friend of Snape and not just instant lover.
Well, the 'bad' thing (if it is bad) is that although I was initially determined to have nothing physical in their story at all, it ended up being there anyway. It seemed like a natural development, as if Snape and Brynhild decided it was simply the next stage to accompany their intellectual intimacy.

I must sound like a raving lunatic, always talking about the characters as if they are autonomous :-). It seems like I'll have to stand up and shout, "You, Snape! And you too, Brynhild! Obey me! I am the author!" LOL...

[sigune.livejournal.com]

to my German ears the name sounds very unpleasant
It was meant to sound pretty formidable and Wagnerian, and I liked the contrast with the rather commonplace and soft-sounding English surname of Bromley :-). That, and I have always liked the fact that Brunhilde in the Nibelungen Saga is determined to marry none but her equal or better, and ties her husband into a knot on their wedding night when she finds out he tricked her. She has the kind of fierce power I wanted at the core of my own Brynhild, only my version does the utmost to restrain herself.

I'm really glad you liked the stories! All the character developing stuff would be quite useless if the eventual stories were no good :-D...

The next comics bit is currently in the making.

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thanks! The drawing pre-dates the stories; I took it as a kind of guide of what I wanted with Brynhild.

I totally agree about the Litmus Tests. Isolated Sue-isms can be justified in a story when they have a function in the plot; most of these things are only a problem when they appear gratuitous, and that's something the Litmus Test cannot check. But once you have made out for yourself what you are doing and why, taking the test can be very entertaining :-).

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Neither of them are passionate people; I imagine Brynhild and Snape looking for things comfortable and convenient mainly.

Snape never struck me as a sexual being.
Me neither! I was rather amazed to find, when I accidentally stumbled into fandom, that there were soooo many stories in which he is pictured as a Byronic hero or a Casanova or something :-D. That's honestly the last thing I'd see in him. And I don't find it very interesting either, but that's just unromantic me, I guess ;-)...
So, well, that's why I felt guilty about those first two stories, even though they're not romantic at all.

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It may amuse you to hear that a few weeks ago a young man, himself an artist, leafed through my drawings and said he liked this one, but why on earth had I spoiled everything by making her nose so large? He refused to understand that there would have been little point in the picture if the woman had been a supermodel :-).

[aerynstales.livejournal.com]

You know...I may just do it! But I warn you, it's chock full of elements that I'm not proud of. I think I initially had every Sue like quality in her plus some over the years as I fleshed her out. But I never felt comfortable actually writing her till I'd been at fanfic writing for about...six months or so. I'd made a few mistakes, but learned alot so I figured why not start scribbling her down too. Of all the OFCs I've ever developed...she is my absolute favourite.

Sure...please do give them a try! The first one is a mystery, the second and third have mysteries in them...but are mostly looks behind the scenes. Given that you're into Victorian culture I think you'll get a kick out of them. :D Goodness knows we've devoted long hours to research...culture, customs, headlines, people...but it's loads of fun.

And LOL on the raving lunatic shouting bit! I think we all yell at our characters like that. I complain that one of my Snape OFCs goes off on long winded speeches. She's a politician...that's her forte...but it annoys the heck out of me! *snicker*

[guernica-shaw.livejournal.com]

I LOVE the way you draw shoes.


For all seasons,
G

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's an act of love :-P...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_grainne_/]

LOVE the fully realized Brynhild! *wants her boots* And I am pleased to hear that you are working on a new (or is it a new-old?) story with her. I am also fond of the 2nd Snape & Brynhild sketch (where he is on her lap). I swear I have seen that exact facial expression (Snape's) on one of my cats, who is hand-shy and not lap friendly, but secretly craves head-scratching and belly-rubbing.

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thanks!
Yes, the story is a new-old one - that thing I've been working on for a year now (though not continually, mind - it's not going to be LotR-sized or something - it's just not a one-shot and that complicates matters enormously for me). Brynhild wasn't originally part of it, but the story kept expanding and now she's rather essential :-).

*has the boots, wants the cat* ;-)

[guernica-shaw.livejournal.com]

-She speaks a language other than English (namely German).

Especially the last point seems a grave sin indeed. An extra language – what could I have been thinking? ;-P

Let me weigh in on this for a sec because I'm sort of on an "OFC-Liberation" kick right now:

So your character speaks German. Well...her name is Brynhild. As such I'm guessing she has some German ancestry, and anyone who objects to an Anglo-German character speaking German has spent just a leeeeetle too much time in the suburbs.

If the fact that Brynhild is bilingual makes her a Sue, then continental Europe is home to a whole lot of Sues. Hell, Switzerland is a whole nation of uber-Sues. Under that criteria, the graduate programs of most major universities are peppered with Sues.

The really hardcore Mary-Sue-naysayers of ficdom seem to object to OFCs with any higher education. The anti-Mary-Sue crew seems to insist that every non-canon female in the British-European Wizarding world must be a high-school-educated, firmly middle-class Jane Doe, devoid of artistic talent or intellectual curiosity, and certainly without panache of any kind.

This of course would mean that the Wizard world is a less varied and exotic place than urban Los Angeles - and that jest ain't right.


For all seasons,
Guernica

[sneaky-rhae.livejournal.com]

Forgive me for being a bit late on this but I am rather new to this LJ business and I was poking around for names I recognize and your's popped up (from MNFF and Occlumency). Anyway I just wanted to tell you how much I have enjoyed reading about how Brynhild came to life, ever since I read The Good Morrow and Monkey Business she has been one of my favorite characters. I love how she is tough enough to handle Snape and she seems like more of an equal for him than really anyone else could be. Truly, anything you decide to write, I will be there to read!

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot, sneaky_rhae! I'm glad you like Brynhild, and that you think she is a match for Snape :-D. The test for OCs lies in the reading... Thanks for letting me know!

[sneaky-rhae.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I know how hard it is for people who write Snape lately (everyone seems to think he's bad!) Do you mind if I friend you?

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Oh please go ahead; I'll friend you right back. :-)