Gawain Project: Brothers & Sisters, 28-30

[sigune]

It's been a while, so I hope you haven't forgotten all about Gawain :-). Me, I have been thinking about him for much of the time, struggling to straighten out my plot, which is always a tricky thing for me. I have no trouble inventing characters or dialogue, but plot? Oh boy. I think I have it ironed out now. I have no doubt that there may be occasional snags as I work my way from one point to another, but I'll tackle those when I meet them. I know from working on The Darkest Hour that the actual writing and drawing of a story brings much more to it than I initially imagined.

In any case, we're off again, no doubt for a few hundred pages...

I know this story takes off rather slowly, but if you could see my outline, you'd see it contains more dramatic events than TDH twice over :p. So - soonish, okay? Please bear with me for the time being :-).

Concrit = welcome, as always.

What went before
King Lot has brought his eldest son, Gawain, to the convent of the Valley of No Return, where the child is to be taught by Morgana and her nuns. Morgana clearly has plans for the boy - but whether or not they coincide with Lot's remains to be seen.

Sunrise Chapter 1: Brothers and Sisters
Brothers and Sisters 1-3, Brothers and Sisters 4-6, Brothers and Sisters 7-9, Brothers and Sisters 10-12, Brothers and Sisters 13-15, Brothers and Sisters 16-18, Brothers and Sisters 19-21, Brothers and Sisters 22-24, Brothers and Sisters 25-27










Next week: Gawain meets a mysterious boy in the woods.

Comments

[neke.livejournal.com]

:)

[sigune.livejournal.com]

;)

[fran-darts.livejournal.com]

Hey, came here via your post in the arthurianlegend comm. *waves*

Yay, Owain is turning up! It's a nice touch having Morgan ask Gawain to be nice to him. She still cares, clearly, but from a distance.

I like Gawain's expression when he's being made to play the piece again. He's quite the adorable young scamp.

Oh, btw, is it cool for me to add you? :)

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Sure, please do!

As you no doubt know, Gawain's adventure with Ettarde starts when he defends Owain against Arthur's accusations. I thought it best to introduce him early on, otherwise Gawain's fervent defense of his cousin would come a bit out of the blue. Also, I'm having fun with him :-). But you'll see that next week...

[fran-darts.livejournal.com]

Yay, will do!

Yeah, that's a good idea to be getting their relationship all set out and established, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you're going to do with Owain. :)

[cabepfir.livejournal.com]

(renews the bounces) Yay for new pages! And a cool Morgana! (especially on the very first panel).

However, I had a couple of difficulties with POVs in page 29. In the first panel of page 29, for example, I had to read it twice before understanding it was Gawain who was speaking. I suggest showing Morgana in full height, turning her head toward the voice, so that it would be clearer she has been called by Gawain. Same for panel 3 of page 30 - you could at least direct the "comma" of the balloon outside the panel to suggest another speaker.

[sigune.livejournal.com]

I know, page 29 is particularly clumsy. I hadn't found my 'swing' yet. Apart from showing Morgana at full height in the first panel, I should also show the interior of her cell, to situate the page. There's a gap in time between pages 28 and 29 - 28 is just a bridge.

Actually, the nuns on page 28 are not Morgana. There are eight others sisters in the convent, each specialising in something - there's one who is a brehon, there's one who is a bard, one who is a warrior... But they haven't got names and faces yet, apart from Conchobarre, so they all get mixed up until then.

Hum. Since I need to rethink pages 25-27, I'm thinking I might add a proper introduction of the nuns, because I may not get round to that later.

Thanks!

[cabepfir.livejournal.com]

... ah. I thought they were all Morgana. Now I notice that your Morgana has always her lipstick on :P Sorry.

Did you perhaps have the chance to read the mail I sent you? Were the links visible? I would really appreciate your opinion =)

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Ha! I knew there was something I still had to do this evening :-). (I've been editing a linguistic text all day; I'm a bit groggy...)

Yes, the links worked. But I want to re-read before sending you a mail. It's such thoughtful work; I don't just want to say "oo! nice!" :-)

[todayiamadaisy]

New pages! Excellent. :-)

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thanks :D!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Awesome, as always! I got confused by the first page for a second, and then I realized those were three different scenes. I'm just slow today, though. lol!

So fascinated with this comic...

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I confess I had to find my rhythm again - the first pages are a bit clunky. But I think it gets better. At least, I hope it does :p.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_vocalion_/]

Gawain looks older and taller now. How long has he been living with the nuns at this point?

[sigune.livejournal.com]

Hum, yes, I know my timeline is a bit sketchy. I'm refusing to calculate everything because - well, I'd end up with a nearly 1000-year-old Gawain eventually, so time is a bit fluid. But at this point in the story Gawain is around 10 years old.

If you think Vague Timeline hinders the reading, let me know!