I largely agree with you about cultivated!Snape. Although a part of me really likes to think that he plays an instrument. Don't most parents force their kids to learn an instrument? Maybe that wasn't such a big deal to Tobias, but if the Prince clan was one of those high-powered pureblood families, I think it's at least possible that Eileen wanted little Severus to be familiar with some of that stuff. Then again, maybe she chucked it all when she married Tobias. Who knows? Still, even if Snape does play an instrument, I could never see him as a secret virtuoso who sneeks out of Hogwarts on weekends to play to appreciative audiences packed into a smoky Muggle piano bar. More like he sneeks off to play by himself in the Room of Requirement, and under a Muffliato.

Anyway, lovely and amusing pic!